As a child, I was utterly silent. I still don't speak in public with ease. But I learned to bang my fist on the table and say "wait a minute, I have a view on this too".
We just aren't the same as the men of our generation. They were told as children, "you're wonderful, darling, speak up in front of everyone". We were told, "Carmen, you're talking too much, go to the back of the class."
I'm always apologising for misbehaviour because I was raised not to be who I am. I became who I am, later on, but I still always hear the voice saying, "Oh, Carmen, really..."
A male colleague told me that what I did by founding Virago was to put women's experience at the centre of the world. And women's experience is different, absolutely. Just recently I had a letter from my bank. They wanted their members to vote for a new director. I looked at the pictures of the people shortlisted and they were all men. I won't do it. I refuse to take part.
I am in favour of all women shortlists. Perhaps in Scandinavian countries they aren't necessary. But here, the only things they allow women to be is the Queen or a Margaret Thatcher. It's hardly a broad spectrum of choice, is it?
